Pet The Bunny
by nico420
Summary: Referring to the episode "Who's Minding The Ed," which most of the dialogue is taken from. Rated M for sexual themes.


_Ed was always trying to impress Double D by saying something smart._

_"Right, Double D?"_

_"Very good, Ed."_

_A goofy grin crept over the less intelligent Ed's face._

* * *

******I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy or any of the following characters.**

**Based on the episode "Who's Minding The Ed," which most of the dialogue is taken from.**

* * *

When Ed—who had been babysitting Rolf's animals, while he was at a family reunion—returned to his living room, no one was there but Eddy and Double D.

Usually, this was okay—better than okay—but not when, only a few minutes ago, the room was full of chickens and other barnyard friends.

"Where did everybody go?" He said, looking around.

Double D opened his mouth to say something, but Ed spoke up before he could.

"Oh, I get it... Hide-n-seek!"

Double D watched as Ed searched behind the TV, the couch, and even the cactus. He felt bad for him—smiling and laughing—unaware that, any moment now, he was going to be very, very sad.

Double D hated seeing him sad.

He hated being able to see the storm before it hit.

He didn't know how Sarah, or Kevin, or Ed's mother and father, or the rest of the kids from the cul-de-sac—including Eddy—could yell at him, or pick on him, or be mean to him in any sort of way. Ed may have been tall—which might be intimidating if you didn't know him—but he was gentle; so even though nothing much bothered him, Double D treated him like a butterfly.

The last thing he would ever want to do was hurt him.

So, of course, he didn't want to be the bearer of bad news.

"Okay, furry friends; you win. Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

"Um—excuse me, Ed—" Double D rested a hand on Ed's shoulder. "But it seems that Rolf returned—um—well, early; and he gathered his—"

"Yeah, he took all his pests and booked it back to his dump," Eddy said, pushing Double D out of the way.

Ed's goofy smile immediately fell. Tears began to well in his eyes.

"Say it isn't so!" He cried—Literally—Bawling now. "I miss my little, furry friends, guys!"

"Ah, you're better off without them, Blubberpuss."

"Eddy. Can't you see Ed has developed a bond of friendship with Rolf's creatures? We owe it to help him through this difficult time of separation."

Eddy looked like he was about to rebuttal, but instead, he draped his arm over Double D's shoulders and said, "Hey! I got an idea of a _friend_ who can help old Sad Sack, here."

For as long as he had known Eddy—which was practically his whole life—and for as observant and as good at reading people as he was, Double D could still be fooled by him sometimes. He always trusted that well-disposed voice he adopted, and the unnecessary touches he would give him at these times.

* * *

"How is this supposed to cheer him up, Eddy?" Double D said, holding up his old onesies, which had bunny ears and a fluffy tail.

"He said he missed his little, furry friends," Eddy teased. "Rabbits are furry."

"'Sticking a feather up your butt does not make you a chicken,' you know?"

"Not a chicken, Double D. A _rabbit._"

"It's a saying, _Eddy._" Double D squinted and pinched the bridge of his nose; something he did whenever Eddy frustrated him or tried his patience.

"C'mon—They're just like your regular pajamas, but with ears."

When Double D was younger, he used to wear these—A lot. Whenever they had sleepovers, Ed would pretend that he was a bunny; trying to pet him and feed him carrots.

"Don't you want to cheer Ed up?"

* * *

That's why Double D was doing this. Not because he wanted to. And definitely not for Eddy's amusement.

He was doing this to cheer Ed up.

_How ironic,_ Double D thought, changing into the pajamas, which barely fit him now. _Ed is allergic to rabbits._

* * *

Ed marveled at his friend when he entered the room. He hadn't seen Double D in those onesies in a long time.

He'd liked them when they were younger. He liked to think of Double D as a bunny—As his pet—As something to take care of.

But there was no mistaking him for a bunny now. He could never feel this way about a bunny...

That's when Ed realized that there were two _very_ different kinds of cute.

Boy, did Double D look cute.

* * *

"What I tell ya, Ed? Is he fuzzy an' cuddly or _what?_"

"_Can I keep him, Eddy?!_"

Across the room, Ed was jumping up and down, excitedly. He tried to run toward Double D, but the chain connected to his collar stopped him.

Eddy—who was sitting on the desk behind him—had foreseen his excitement. He was the one holding the chain.

Double D could only guess that Eddy was messing with him somehow.

"Ha, ha, ha. Very good, Eddy. I think you've made your point quite clear. I'll admit, I may have been a tad overbearing today, but not without good intentions and concern for Ed's state of well-being."

Eddy slowly reached for the hook on Ed's chain. He smirked, half-listening to Double D talk, and let Ed loose as soon as he was finished with his speech.

Ed lunged at him. "Hug the bunny! Hug the bunny!" He squeezed Double D and wouldn't let go.

Double D struggled to free himself, but to no avail. Despite his best efforts, he was trapped.

Ed might have a gentle soul, but he was the strongest kid that he knew.

He gave up, and went limp in Ed's arms; letting him hug him, and pet him, and nuzzle him with his face.

"Awe, look—He likes me, Eddy." Ed looked down at his new pet. "Pet the bunny! Pet the bunny," he said, stroking Double D from his head all the way down his back.

Double D was laying across Ed's lap now; their crotches were rubbing against each other.

He knew he wouldn't have been able to escape if he'd wanted to.

_If_ he'd wanted to.


End file.
